Life in a Day

We’ve been pretty busy of late, which is one of the things that have contributed to the lack of blogging (another probably being laziness…).

Anyway, yesterday we went to see a preview of the film “Life in a Day”. The tickets were free, so we thought we’d give it a go. So we wended our way to the local cinema for a 10.30am Sunday showing.

The film is the culmination of a project that took place on 24 July 2010. People all around the world were asked to film their day and submit it to YouTube as a possible contribution to the film. They were asked to answer questions like “What do you love?”, “What to do you fear?” or “What is in your pocket or handbag?” (although I don’t think that was compulsorily) and the film was then put together from some of the 4000 plus films submitted from about 190 countries.

This is not the sort of film I would normally choose to go and see, but we actually both really liked it. It gave you a sense of the people and world around you (in the truly global sense). It showed happy parts of life, sad parts of life and everything in between.

I would recommend going to see it, but it is definitely one to see at the cinema rather than on DVD, although I can’t quite explain why. Although that said, there were times when it would have been good to pause it to discuss what we had just seen. It has no plot beyond there being the progression through 24 hours, so don’t expect a “story” to unfold in front of you. It is moments in people’s lives and it gives you a sense that the world over we have things in common and a shared humanity. Or that’s what I got from it anyway – it’s for you to decide what you get from it (and I would highly recommend listening in on other people's comments as you leave the cinema!).

Thinking

Many of us believe that when we feel down, we should try to focus inwardly and evaluate our feelings and our situation in order to attain self-insight and find solutions that might ultimately resolve our problems and relieve unhappiness. Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, I, and others have compiled a great deal of evidence challenging this assumption. Numerous studies over the past two decades have shown that to the contrary, overthinking ushers in a host of adverse consequences: It sustains or worsens sadness, fosters negatively biased thinking, impairs a person’s ability to solve problems, saps motivation, and interferes with concentration and initiative. Moreover, although people have a strong sense that they are gaining insight into themselves and their problems during their ruminations, this is rarely the case. What they do gain is a distorted, pessimistic perspective on their lives.

Professor Sonja Lyubomirsky - The How of Happiness

Results

I was disappointed that the AV referendum went with the “No” campaign. This was one of the best opportunities we were ever likely to get for people to have more of a say in how the government is formed. But the people have spoken.

I feel I might be able to give some insight into how the “No” campaign managed to win though. My sister went to vote and took my six year old nephew with her. He wanted to know what she was doing when she was standing their in the Polling Booth. So she read him the question and asked him what she thought. He said he thought the answer was “no”, so my sister told me she went with that*. If you voted “no”, you voted the same way as a six year old. Just so you know.

When my sister told me this tale, I replied that this was why women should never have got the vote.



*Just to spare my sister’s shame, she is actually a perfectly intelligent person and had already made up her mind about how to vote.

Speedy

A speedy update.

The new job is going well. Everyone is very friendly and really helpful.

Someone who I used to work with texted me on Friday to tell me about a rumour that is being circulated about me there. It’s nothing very serious. It just reminds me why it was good to leave there. I would have thought people had better things to talk about. I am going to someone’s leaving do from there on Thursday so we’ll see how that goes…

I have decided how to vote in the AV Referendum. I am going to be voting “yes” i.e. we should change the voting system. If I get the chance, I will try and explain my reasoning here (assuming I can articulate it). When I thought about it and spoke to a few people, I realised that it wasn’t a hard decision at all and would be a massive missed opportunity if the system doesn’t change. Up the revolution.

Working

It has been a good few days. I started the new job on Friday. I still have no idea what my job really involves, but got through my first day – and the views from where I am working are fantastic!

I seem to have made peace with the colleague I fell out with. I sent her a card last Monday about her losing her sight and also about not getting to say goodbye to her before I left. She sent a really nice message in response.

I saw a friend from school yesterday. I don’t think I had seen her for about three years. It was so nice to meet up with her and catch up on the last few years. It was somehow cathartic to meet up with someone I have known for 25 years and just chat about life and also about nothing in particular.

The shock of the last few days though is that the IT system I am on at work does not give access to the internet. What am I going to do at work every day??

Consequences

So, the colleague that I had an argument with sent me a text on Friday morning. It was sort of reconciling “I’d be happy to talk about what happened”, but kind of finger-pointy “personally I found it slightly embarrassing and unprofessional” substitute “you” for “it” and I think we have a more accurate view of what she was thinking. I decided not to respond. Text is not a way to have such discussions. In fact, if she hadn’t texted, it would all have blown over by today. I decided I’d just speak to her about it briefly at work today and we’d move on.

Only things didn’t work out quite that way. Yesterday she totally unexpectedly lost the sight in one of her eyes and is undergoing an emergency operation today to try and restore her vision.

This might indicate my power and the consequences of crossing me. Or it might suggest that the old adage “never go to sleep on your anger” might have some sense to it. I sent her a card today to say that I hoped she gets better soon and, as we won’t see each other before I change jobs on Thursday, saying a few nice things about having worked with her.

But, to be on the safe side, I suggest you don’t cross me.

Progression

I seem to have fallen out with a colleague at work. We are both somewhat opinionated at meetings and whilst often we are in agreement, today I think we both just wound each other up. I was really annoyed and so had to revert to silence to keep my seething to myself. It is very rare that I get really annoyed at work, it is only work after all, so not something that is worth getting upset over, but I was really angry about the way I was spoken to and my views dismissed. We exchanged a goodbye at the end of the day, but that was it really. I am not in work tomorrow. This is probably for the best.

It’s disappointing though because we actually get in very well. It is also my last week in the job next week. I also don’t like to be on bad terms with people. But my annoyance has not subsided as yet.

I’d like to be a nicer person. I’d like to feel that I could get to the end of the day without causing harm to the world around me. But I feel these aspirations are regularly tested and I am coming up short. I would like to think I am a work in progress, but I am not sure in which direction I am progressing.

Rational

I might have said this here before, but over recent months I have been finding commuting anger inducing. The very presence of other people, let alone being crammed onto packed tube trains, can be enough to raise my anger level several degrees.

I suspect I am not alone in this. I think in part it is weather-related, and in part I am just reflecting what other people feel as well, which is a sense of all not being well because of the current economic climate etc (and don’t even get me started on the way that the ConDem Government is systematically destroying this country, which they justify based on economic reasons, but in reality, it is for ideological ones).

I think a lot of it is also about not liking people invading my personal space. However, this is impossible to avoid if you travel on the tube during rush hour. I normally read a book on the tube and try and absorb myself in that to block out the world around me. I could probably achieve this more effectively by listening to music or a talking book, but actually I think this would have a more negative effect. The more I block out the world, when the world does then intrude it is likely to have a bigger impact – and perhaps a bigger reaction from me in response.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t shout at fellow commuters or trip them up on the escalator. I tend to turn it inwards and seethe inside instead. But this isn’t good. I also know that it is somewhat irrational. It is not my fellow commuters’ job to take care of my wellbeing. Often when people invade my or others’ space it isn’t deliberate or malicious, it is just part of the nature of travelling on a system that about 3 million others also use each day. But as much as I can rationalise it, it doesn’t make the feelings any less real or somehow magic them away.

On Friday, we are going to Lisbon for the weekend. I am hoping that getting away from London for a few days might calm my mood. But I suspect it will just be a brief respite.

Busy

My head still feels very busy. Primarily there are good things going on, so I shouldn’t really complaint. But it all makes my head feel very full.

I have got a new job. Someone phoned me up and said they had a job for me if I wanted it. It is a really interesting job, doing something that is one of those “once in a lifetime” things (that is rather more dramatic an expression than the job entails, but it makes sense in the context of what the job is). I could have stayed on where I currently work, but as a secondee I feel somewhat vulnerable and I was concerned that if I didn’t take this job that was being handed to me on a plate that I would very possibly end up kicking myself – for a whole variety of reasons.

The job is somewhere new geographically. I have worked in the same area for about ten years so I will be venturing out into new parts of London. It might also mean getting up earlier in the morning though, which is not quite such an appealing thought.

We’ve also booked various trips away. We are off to Lisbon next weekend. Neither of us has been to Portugal before, and we thought it would be a good place to go to try and get a bit of warm weather and some rest and relaxation. Then we’re going to Devon for Easter and Denmark in the summer. At the moment, we have only booked he flights to Denmark and need to work out where we are actually going to go once we have landed. Details, details…

One of the things I will miss about my current job is the somewhat unusual comments regularly made by one of my colleagues. I have no idea how this came up in conversation, but I have to say that she makes a good point, so I shall leave you with her latest gem:

“Personally, you couldn’t pay me enough to lick a toilet seat.”

Indeed.

Life Lessons

I have two scenes from recent times that I give you as potential life lessons.

Lesson One – Showers and telephones do not mix.

When you phone your mother to arrange to meet up for Sunday lunch and need to consult your partner for a view think about the circumstances, think. If your partner is in the shower, you might want to mention that not only are you seeking their advice, but your mother is still on the phone, which is in your hand. This might have a bearing on what they then choose to say to you, and whether they want your mother to hear it.

Lesson Two – Answer phones are not normally a good way to break bad news.

I know that grief hits people in different ways and that we cannot always be rational in such circumstances, but a colleague of mine returned to her desk from a meeting and checked her voicemail. There was a message from her mum saying that her uncle had died. This led to a very public breakdown in the middle of the office. Not ideal, although I suppose her uncle dying was, in itself, less than ideal.

Focus

I have been terrible at blogging recently. There just seems to have been a lot going on and not a lot of time to focus my thoughts into a blog post – although I don’t suppose my blog posts have always been that “focussed”…

My mind has felt very distracted of late, not for any negative reasons, it has just been wandering about of its own free will. I am an avid reader, but I went for almost a week without reading a book. Even on my commute to and from work I would just sit there and be absorbed in my own thoughts or stare out the window. Hopefully focus will return some time soon, not least because my library books will need to be returned at some point.

There are also some strange things going on at work at the moment. One part of this seems to involve an element of division amongst the managers. Another manager and I are perhaps more radical in our thinking on where the organisation can go. Others seem more reticent and one is entirely opposed to change. Perhaps strangely, the two of us who are more radical seem to be viewed as the prime candidates to go if changes need to be made. But my manager spoke to us both at the end of yesterday and in a rather heartfelt way told us how much she doesn’t want us to go. I was touched by what she said, and I guess we will just have to see what the future holds.

Challenge

I am on about book number four or five so far this year and have lots of books that I already have lined up to read. Despite that, I have been tempted by Sarah’s reading challenge over at her blog. It is open to all, so feel free to join in too.

It is as follows:

Ten books, one from each category. Some books would fit more than one category making it ridiculously easy: so no crossovers within the challenge! Ten unique and distinct books are required.

1. A book that has been previously abandoned

2. A re-read. Didn’t quite get it/thought there was more/made promise to self to re-read? Time to make good.

3. A book that has sat on the shelf, like, forever. (Decades.)

4. A book that paralyses one with dread.

5. Investigate a canonical writer hitherto most shamefully overlooked.

6. Seek out a book by an author who has earned ostracism by being so good that any further novel could surely never measure up…?

7. And the opposite… That author who was supposed to be really good, but didn’t go down too well? Give him/her another go!

8. Take a chance. Read a book which you would rather not. For instance when the OH says ‘you’ll really like this’ and you’re thinking ‘no, I really won’t…’

9. A book from an unfamiliar genre.

10. Ask a friend (preferably a person of impeccable taste, and definitely not someone who might have an axe to grind) to choose a book that you will, in their opinion, like. (This does not mean ask a dozen people until you get the right answer!)

I am still pondering some of the books to read, but some thoughts so far are:

2.On the Road by Jack Kerouac
3.Crime and Punishment – Dostoevsky
4.Possibly some Samuel Beckett
9. Neuromancer – William Gibson (borrowed from the library yesterday)
10. One Day – David Nicholls (a colleague recommended this to me the other day. I did say I had seen Deirdre Barlow reading it on Coronation Street once, which had slightly put me off, but she is going to lend me her copy anyway.

That’s about half the list so there is still much thinking to do.

Project

Life seems very hectic at the moment. It isn’t even the end of January and I already feel worn out. Work is busy. Life outside of work is busy. Things are just generally busy.

We’ve just booked to go to Devon for Easter though, so at least we can have a break then, if not before.

I read a blog sometimes called The School of Life. Recently one of the contributors wrote about a project to increase people’s happiness. But there is a part of me that wonders if that is not a strange ambition in itself. It’s not that I think there is anything wrong with being happy, but I am not sure I see it as a purpose in its own right, but more of a bi-product of the things that we do. Maybe I am just too cynical, but it seems very self-indulgent to aspire to happiness in that way. But perhaps that is why an initiative is needed.

Comments

Several years ago, I previously worked where I do now. Yesterday someone who still works there was talking to someone else (and sort of to me) and said “when [Random] worked here before she was slim”. I rather protested about the implications of that comment, and whilst it wouldn’t do any harm to lose a few pounds, I am not verging on the obese. Anyway, to truly register my horror at her comment I sat on her and killed her*.




*part of this story may not be true.

Late Again

Is it 2011 already? I feel I might be a bit behind the times… I went back to work on Tuesday after over two weeks off work. It was a shock to the system. I wish I was still on leave. I need to come up with a get quick rich scheme.

The return to work was “challenging”. There were various crises to deal with on my first day and by the time I had got to the end of Tuesday I was glad it is only a four day week. Things seemed to have calmed down a bit now, but life would be very much easier if I didn’t have to work with other people (despite the fact that I do actually work with some very nice people).

I read the story about birds falling out the sky in the US and Sweden and am now wondering if FlashForward is coming true. Prepare for the blackout. Make sure you are wearing clean underwear. You heard it here first.

Belated

Christmas was good, and I am off up to Scotland today (but back before the New Year).

Please feel free to visit Cornish Dreamer in my absence to offer some kind words.

A belated Happy Christmas and I hope you have a good New Year.

Christmas Spirit

On Wednesday night, we were due to have our annual Christmas gathering with some friends. Normally it would be a big Christmas meal but due to one couple now having a baby, they decided that this wouldn’t work this year.

So, instead, another person in the group invited us over to hers so that we didn’t end up going to a pub, which would mean that both of the couple with the baby, and the baby himself, could attend. The plan was agreed.

Then on Tuesday we got an e-mail from the couple with the baby to say that the baby hadn’t been very well so mum and baby probably wouldn’t attend, but dad would. Fine. It was a shame but everything else was all sorted, including that G and I had booked somewhere to stay overnight in Central London so we could stay out late without then having to trek home, and we’d bought wine and chocolates etc (as had others).

Wednesday morning, the day of the get together, the host’s partner sends a text to say that he has suddenly come down with major flu and therefore the get together was cancelled. G and I both raised an eyebrow about the coincidental timing of this bout of flu. The couple who have the baby are rather the cement of the group and the person who now wasn’t coming is the best friend of the host. The rest of us are rather lower down the pecking order (with me not even being ranked as a friend of the host – who is the person who a couple of years ago told G various untruths about stuff that happened with A back in the mists of time. Need I say more…).

G and I were committed to staying in London anyway, as we would have to pay for the accommodation regardless. G then sent an e-mail to the others to see if they were still on for meeting up regardless. To which come confused responses were sent because the others were still under the impression the original plan was going ahead. No-one else has got a text cancelling the get together. Much confusion then ensued and various e-mails were exchanged. The hosts were copied into all of the e-mails but maintained a silence throughout.

So, we didn’t know whether the plan was really cancelled (G even began to wonder if the text was from someone else of the same name, and that the original plan was still on. But nope, it was the right person). In the end we agreed to meet at a pub instead, and invited the hosts (those not suffering from ill-health of course) to join us. We had a pleasant evening, including discussing what had happened and how what was meant to have been a very simple plan had turned into a complete mess. The hosts didn’t come along and we have heard nothing from them since.

The cynical side of me says that because a key person couldn’t go, they didn’t want the rest of us to go round to their house, and so made up an excuse to get out of the plan. If that is the case, why invite people to your home if you are only willing to have them there under certain conditions? There is also the question of why only G got the text – were we the only ones who were uninvited? Even if there was a genuine illness, to treat people who are meant to be your friends in this way, especially when they have all gone to a lot of effort, is not the right way to treat people.

But maybe I should be more charitable. It is Christmas after all.

Lunch

I went for a team lunch on Tuesday. We ate so much food that I think we all just wanted to go for a nap afterwards. We went to a Spanish restaurant and the food just kept coming, and we just kept evening. I then had some training for my volunteering in the evening and I wasn’t desperately keen to go, but I decided I should. When I got there I found out that we weren’t going to do any training and instead we were going out for a meal – at a Spanish restaurant. It was a different one to earlier in the day fortunately, but I really did not need any more food. And yet, I managed to graze my way through a fair bit of tapas nonetheless. I am going to have to run a marathon to work all that food off.

Complaints

I seem to have sent a lot of complaints recently:

I complained to Tesco that when I was in one of their stores last week I saw staff reducing the price of sandwiches and salads and before they put the items back on the shelf they put them on the floor. That is so unhygienic and I just had to complain.

I complained to the National Trust that a gift membership I ordered for my sister was left on my doorstep (although one of my neighbours saw it later and took it in) and then when I opened it the packaging etc to the membership pack was all torn.

I complained to Amazon that a delivery turned up and one end of the box had totally collapsed and someone had stuck it back together with tape, and the top of the box wasn’t sealed properly so that anyone could have just put their hand in the box – although as the side was open, why bother with going in through a more traditional route??

I am hoping that this is the end of my complaints for 2010!

Reading

I have agreed with some people at work to read the Costa Award shortlist. We are only reading the “First Novel” and “Novel” shortlist, which totals eight books. We have until almost the end of January to read them and I am about half way through the second book.

I sourced all of the books for us. Both Amazon and Waterstones were remarkably unreliable for supplying the books- which I think in part was because the publishers were perhaps caught out by the nominations and so weren’t able to meet the demand at such short notice.

In the end, I managed to get the books from two different sources, and both sent the books really quickly. One was The Book Depository and the other was AbeBooks. The latter supplies quite a lot of second hand books, but they tell you what the condition is of the book.

So far, I have read “The Blasphemer”, which was pretty good, if a little unbelievable at times.