Finally it’s the end of the week. I feel totally worn out and am looking forward to falling asleep tonight. I had better make the most of this weekend, as I am off up north next weekend for work. There are a few weekends I have to work each year and sadly next weekend is one of them.
Anyway, money seems to have been a bit of a theme today. Work has paid me my expenses for going to Poland – twice. So they have basically given me £400 for free. Sadly, I can’t keep the money because I would feel really guilty about not paying it back. I once found £5 lying on the pavement and picked it up. It sat on my desk for ages because I just couldn’t spend it – what if it was some poor old lady’s pension? – and in the end I gave it to charity. The annoying thing is that I am sure they wouldn’t notice if I kept the money but I’d feel like I had stolen it, so I had better phone our finance people on Monday and find out how to give it back.
I also got some refunds from London Underground today, but they were totally wrong. They sent me £1.40 per journey, which is nowhere near the amount they should have refunded me. I phoned their Customer Services department and spoke to a complete idiot, who sounded as though I had woken her up. I explained what had happened and she then couldn’t operate the computer system to look at my records. I explained to her the amount I normally got refunded, the journeys I had made and the type of ticket I have and she came up with some really annoying responses such as:
“So you have a pay as you go ticket” No, which is why I just told you I have an annual season ticket.
“We pay the refund pro-rata and as you get six months free on an annual ticket, that’s why we’ll have refunded the amount we have.” No, I pay for 10 months instead of 12, but as my ticket cost about £1300 last year (they are old refunds London Underground have taken ages to pay) that is still not free!
“Actually I don’t deal with refunds, so I don’t know the answer and my supervisor has told me to tell you to write to us because there is no-one here who can help you”. Well, at least it was honest.
I have taken on the might of London Underground before and won and I am sure this will be no exception, but it is annoying nonetheless.
I met up with my friend K this afternoon for a coffee and we talked about the staff survey results and what could be done to make sure some action is taken. She used to work in the unit but was transferred out because she fell out of favour, which is bizarre because she is really good at her job. Anyway, she is considering writing to HR to try and make them take the results seriously. Someone in my team told me that our Head of Unit approached him last night and said “When you filled out the staff survey did you expect them to publish your comments?” By asking the question in the way that she did she was basically forcing him to say whether he had filled out the survey. Which part of it being an anonymous and confidential survey does she not understand?
Friday, January 13, 2006
A slow news day
We always have Sky News on in our office and today Sky keeps replaying George Galloway seemingly pretending to be some kind of cat (we don’t have the sound on so I am guessing). There is something quite obscene about it and when you have seen it for about the fiftieth time it really does become somewhat nauseating watching Rula Lenska stroke his moustache.
I haven’t actually watched any of this series of Big Brother but as most of it seems to be have been replayed on Sky News today, I might have to revise that statement.
Perhaps it is time to switch to BBC News 24.
I haven’t actually watched any of this series of Big Brother but as most of it seems to be have been replayed on Sky News today, I might have to revise that statement.
Perhaps it is time to switch to BBC News 24.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
More feedback
Just got a text from someone I was having a bit of a will we/ won’t we have a relationship type thing with saying “I’ve started going out with someone else. Thought I’d better mention it”. Guess that’s the end of that then.
It seems the staff survey comments were definitely not meant to have been published and have now been rapidly removed from the intranet. It’s a bit late though as a lot of people had already seen them. My Head of Unit saw them for the first time last night when they were drawn to her attention. She seems to be remarkably calm but has had various meetings with people a lot of today. Although she might not be a particularly pleasant person to work for, I don’t actually want her to feel as though everyone hates her. A lot of the reason she treats people the way she does seems to come from her lacking self awareness and being rather insecure and the survey is not going to change either of those.
It seems the staff survey comments were definitely not meant to have been published and have now been rapidly removed from the intranet. It’s a bit late though as a lot of people had already seen them. My Head of Unit saw them for the first time last night when they were drawn to her attention. She seems to be remarkably calm but has had various meetings with people a lot of today. Although she might not be a particularly pleasant person to work for, I don’t actually want her to feel as though everyone hates her. A lot of the reason she treats people the way she does seems to come from her lacking self awareness and being rather insecure and the survey is not going to change either of those.
Feedback
So, the staff survey results have come out at work. It would be fair to describe them as “damning”. To the objective observer having only 7% of respondents agree with the statement “where I work morale is high” would suggest that there is an issue. As would only 4% of people agreeing that “senior management are in touch with the views and concerns of staff”.
My Head of Unit held an emergency meeting with some of the senior managers and the conclusion was that last year was a difficult one but it was “time to look to the future”. They also decided that the “senior management” in the survey did not refer to those within the unit, but instead were the senior managers above the senior managers in the unit– if that makes any sense? Well it certainly didn’t to me.
Anyway, there was no sign of the comments that people had given on the survey, but then one of my colleagues was searching for something on the intranet and stumbled across the comments. Admittedly they were very well hidden and my suspicion is that we are not meant to have access to them, as there were absolutely no links to it and no-one else appeared to have been aware of their existence – but if it’s on the intranet, it is obviously for general consumption. Well, that’s what my colleagues decided.
Whilst the staff survey may have been damning, the comments were very damning or what might alternatively be described as career ending. Responses to the question “what one thing could be done to improve the organisation?” being “get rid of our Head of Unit” or more general comments like “I have never worked in such an oppressive atmosphere” again indicate that all may not be well.
The problem is that someone seems to have made an error, which might indicate that someone was just being over-efficient when they put the comments on the intranet. The problem is that you can identify who some of the respondents are to this anonymous and confidential survey and the blood certainly drained out of a few people’s faces when they saw that their comments has been reproduced verbatim.
I have sent an e-mail out to my team to ask them to treat the comments with due care, particularly given the personal nature of some of what has been said. They’re a decent bunch so will do the right thing, but if it were me I would want to check the comments to see if mine had been published. But the thing is that despite the weight of evidence, I think the whole situation will still be a whitewash. Only now we will have to face our Head of Unit’s wrath because she is likely to turn it into a bit of a witch-hunt to find out who made the comments. Well, I guess if you express your views it is good to know that they are acted upon. There are interesting times ahead.
My Head of Unit held an emergency meeting with some of the senior managers and the conclusion was that last year was a difficult one but it was “time to look to the future”. They also decided that the “senior management” in the survey did not refer to those within the unit, but instead were the senior managers above the senior managers in the unit– if that makes any sense? Well it certainly didn’t to me.
Anyway, there was no sign of the comments that people had given on the survey, but then one of my colleagues was searching for something on the intranet and stumbled across the comments. Admittedly they were very well hidden and my suspicion is that we are not meant to have access to them, as there were absolutely no links to it and no-one else appeared to have been aware of their existence – but if it’s on the intranet, it is obviously for general consumption. Well, that’s what my colleagues decided.
Whilst the staff survey may have been damning, the comments were very damning or what might alternatively be described as career ending. Responses to the question “what one thing could be done to improve the organisation?” being “get rid of our Head of Unit” or more general comments like “I have never worked in such an oppressive atmosphere” again indicate that all may not be well.
The problem is that someone seems to have made an error, which might indicate that someone was just being over-efficient when they put the comments on the intranet. The problem is that you can identify who some of the respondents are to this anonymous and confidential survey and the blood certainly drained out of a few people’s faces when they saw that their comments has been reproduced verbatim.
I have sent an e-mail out to my team to ask them to treat the comments with due care, particularly given the personal nature of some of what has been said. They’re a decent bunch so will do the right thing, but if it were me I would want to check the comments to see if mine had been published. But the thing is that despite the weight of evidence, I think the whole situation will still be a whitewash. Only now we will have to face our Head of Unit’s wrath because she is likely to turn it into a bit of a witch-hunt to find out who made the comments. Well, I guess if you express your views it is good to know that they are acted upon. There are interesting times ahead.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
On being English
This week a list was published of icons that represent England. The twelve items that have been published so far are Stonehenge; SS Empire Windrush; a cup of tea; Jerusalem (the hymn not the place); Punch and Judy; Alice in Wonderland; Holbein’s Portrait of Henry VIII; Angel of the North; The Spitfire; The King James Bible; The FA Cup; and the Routemaster bus.
I have to say that I am not entirely convinced by this list – do they really epitomise what it means to be English? The more cynical amongst us might instead list things such as well... cynicism or maybe sarcasm; football hooliganism; pointless RMT union strikes; a media that can one day be praising someone to the heavens but the next day tearing them to shreds – and the day after that, and the day after that... There is also our rather stilted English accent, just like Hugh Grant, or Renee Zellweger in Bridget Jones, losing sports teams and, of course, phone boxes – with the glass all smashed out.
Although I was born and bred in England, I wouldn’t particularly class myself as English, instead I think of myself as British. I cannot really think of many things that would be classed as purely English. Afternoon tea? A Sunday roast? I am guessing that the Welsh might occasionally have a bit of lamb to go with their leeks or the Scottish some beef to go with their tatties and neeps. A sense of fair play? Well, whilst I hope that is indeed a British trait, I don’t think it is something that can only be claimed by the English. Despite what American films and sitcoms might have us believe we can’t even claim the Queen. There is no Queen of England, she is the Queen of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.
It is not that I am opposed to people being identified as English, Welsh, Scottish or Northern Irish, I just don’t think there is necessarily anything that is English rather than British.
Hold on. What’s that voice at the back? You’re the voice of Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland? What’s that you’re saying? We can have the Morris dancers? Oh right... erm... thanks... So what do I have to do to be Scottish?
I have to say that I am not entirely convinced by this list – do they really epitomise what it means to be English? The more cynical amongst us might instead list things such as well... cynicism or maybe sarcasm; football hooliganism; pointless RMT union strikes; a media that can one day be praising someone to the heavens but the next day tearing them to shreds – and the day after that, and the day after that... There is also our rather stilted English accent, just like Hugh Grant, or Renee Zellweger in Bridget Jones, losing sports teams and, of course, phone boxes – with the glass all smashed out.
Although I was born and bred in England, I wouldn’t particularly class myself as English, instead I think of myself as British. I cannot really think of many things that would be classed as purely English. Afternoon tea? A Sunday roast? I am guessing that the Welsh might occasionally have a bit of lamb to go with their leeks or the Scottish some beef to go with their tatties and neeps. A sense of fair play? Well, whilst I hope that is indeed a British trait, I don’t think it is something that can only be claimed by the English. Despite what American films and sitcoms might have us believe we can’t even claim the Queen. There is no Queen of England, she is the Queen of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.
It is not that I am opposed to people being identified as English, Welsh, Scottish or Northern Irish, I just don’t think there is necessarily anything that is English rather than British.
Hold on. What’s that voice at the back? You’re the voice of Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland? What’s that you’re saying? We can have the Morris dancers? Oh right... erm... thanks... So what do I have to do to be Scottish?
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
She's leaving home
So, the house contract is signed and it’s time to start to prepare to move again. You’d think I would be used to it by now given the number of times I have moved over the last decade or so.
There were the various houses I lived in at university, all of which were remarkably nice. I remember being horrified at having to pay £28 per week in rent. Those were the days...
I have lived in a number of places since but none surpass the memories etched on my brain from living with the woman I affectionately refer to as ‘evil landlady’. I wouldn’t claim to be the perfect tenant but it seems that my incompetence knew no bounds if the number of things I got told off for (and that is the correct phrase!) while I lived in her house is anything to go by. Let me give you some examples:
Not doing the washing up correctly. Did you now that it is wrong, wrong, wrong to fill a sink with water to do the washing up? What you actually must do is wash up under a running tap – but don’t run the tap too fast as that is also unforgivable. It is almost as bad as using that terrible Fairy liquid stuff. Instead you should be using some specially imported environmentally friendly washing up liquid. I remember doing the washing up sometimes and hearing evil landlady's approaching footsteps. I could feel the tension in my back and my mind would start to whirr "Am I running the tap too fast?" "Am I using the right cloth?" "Have I used too much washing up liquid?". You get the picture.
But the errors of my way were much worse than that… Too many crumbs in the toaster; too much steam when cooking vegetables; items that could be recycled being put in the bin. Now I am all for recycling but an occasional error in judgment being picked up because… wait for it… she used to go through my rubbish, began to grate just a teeny bit.
And let’s not even get on to arguing at 7 o’clock one morning when she announced I needed to leave one week before my notice expired because she needed the room back. A little tip, don’t even attempt a conversation with me at 7am, let alone one where you are going to try to renege on your legal obligations. The list could go on, but suffice to say that when I tunnelled my way out she did not get another tenant and not once did I regret the decision to escape.
Then I moved to the place I lived in until November last year. I lived there for over two years and it was a nice enough place, although very much more my housemate’s place than my own. There was also the chap who lived downstairs who liked to threaten both his girlfriend and his neighbours on a regular basis. I think the police and council were working on an ASBO to try and keep him in check when I moved out. Now I am set to move to another temporary abode, having just sorted the mouse problem where I am currently staying. So it has been an eventful few years. Anyway, hopefully after that I’ll move to a place that I will have bought. It would be nice to live somewhere that feels rather more permanent.
The new place looks good with the added bonus of a cat and no longer having to live on my own. I am not suited to solitary living. It’s just a shame that I will have to put some stuff in storage. I will have to work out how much I need something to be immediately at hand. My biggest concern is my books though. I won’t be too impressed if I have to pack loads of those away. I had actually put a ban on buying new books over the last few months and yet I still seem to have about 30 more books than I did when I moved to where I am now. How does that happen in the space of two months?
There were the various houses I lived in at university, all of which were remarkably nice. I remember being horrified at having to pay £28 per week in rent. Those were the days...
I have lived in a number of places since but none surpass the memories etched on my brain from living with the woman I affectionately refer to as ‘evil landlady’. I wouldn’t claim to be the perfect tenant but it seems that my incompetence knew no bounds if the number of things I got told off for (and that is the correct phrase!) while I lived in her house is anything to go by. Let me give you some examples:
Not doing the washing up correctly. Did you now that it is wrong, wrong, wrong to fill a sink with water to do the washing up? What you actually must do is wash up under a running tap – but don’t run the tap too fast as that is also unforgivable. It is almost as bad as using that terrible Fairy liquid stuff. Instead you should be using some specially imported environmentally friendly washing up liquid. I remember doing the washing up sometimes and hearing evil landlady's approaching footsteps. I could feel the tension in my back and my mind would start to whirr "Am I running the tap too fast?" "Am I using the right cloth?" "Have I used too much washing up liquid?". You get the picture.
But the errors of my way were much worse than that… Too many crumbs in the toaster; too much steam when cooking vegetables; items that could be recycled being put in the bin. Now I am all for recycling but an occasional error in judgment being picked up because… wait for it… she used to go through my rubbish, began to grate just a teeny bit.
And let’s not even get on to arguing at 7 o’clock one morning when she announced I needed to leave one week before my notice expired because she needed the room back. A little tip, don’t even attempt a conversation with me at 7am, let alone one where you are going to try to renege on your legal obligations. The list could go on, but suffice to say that when I tunnelled my way out she did not get another tenant and not once did I regret the decision to escape.
Then I moved to the place I lived in until November last year. I lived there for over two years and it was a nice enough place, although very much more my housemate’s place than my own. There was also the chap who lived downstairs who liked to threaten both his girlfriend and his neighbours on a regular basis. I think the police and council were working on an ASBO to try and keep him in check when I moved out. Now I am set to move to another temporary abode, having just sorted the mouse problem where I am currently staying. So it has been an eventful few years. Anyway, hopefully after that I’ll move to a place that I will have bought. It would be nice to live somewhere that feels rather more permanent.
The new place looks good with the added bonus of a cat and no longer having to live on my own. I am not suited to solitary living. It’s just a shame that I will have to put some stuff in storage. I will have to work out how much I need something to be immediately at hand. My biggest concern is my books though. I won’t be too impressed if I have to pack loads of those away. I had actually put a ban on buying new books over the last few months and yet I still seem to have about 30 more books than I did when I moved to where I am now. How does that happen in the space of two months?
Monday, January 09, 2006
A deer in the headlights
Not only did I make it into work without any delays but I also made it home with no problems at all. Actually I possibly got home marginally quicker than I would normally because the train didn’t stop at one of the stations. What’s the point in having a tube strike if I still am able to get into work?
This evening I have been practising a talk that I am giving tomorrow. I waited until I got home to practice the talk because people tend to think you’re weird if they walk past a room and see you talking to no-one. One of my colleagues had offered to be an audience but I politely declined. It is a general presentation that we give to various audiences and there are no speaking notes, there are just some slides for me to speak to.
I have to give the talk twice tomorrow and there will be a couple of people who will be at both sessions. It will either mean that they will not find my extremely humorous jokes funny on both occasions or maybe the second time around they will pick up on their cue and start the spontaneous laughter. It’s a small audience, maybe a dozen people. I much prefer talking to bigger audiences. It is much more difficult to see the boredom in their eyes when there are more people.
I have to speak for about twenty minutes and then take questions. When I was practising this evening I just kept talking and talking and went over the time limit. I am hoping that, if nothing else, I might be able to hypnotise them with my voice. Children up to the age of one or so seem to find my voice fascinating and sometimes watch me intently when I am speaking. It’s not that I hang around small children a lot. I can be sitting in a restaurant or a park and suddenly notice this pair of eyes looking at me and I have managed to transfix another small child. Fortunately I only ever use my superpowers for good.
Anyway, I am hoping it goes ok in the morning because I have to go back in the afternoon to do the second talk even if I stand there like a deer caught in the headlights the first time around...
This evening I have been practising a talk that I am giving tomorrow. I waited until I got home to practice the talk because people tend to think you’re weird if they walk past a room and see you talking to no-one. One of my colleagues had offered to be an audience but I politely declined. It is a general presentation that we give to various audiences and there are no speaking notes, there are just some slides for me to speak to.
I have to give the talk twice tomorrow and there will be a couple of people who will be at both sessions. It will either mean that they will not find my extremely humorous jokes funny on both occasions or maybe the second time around they will pick up on their cue and start the spontaneous laughter. It’s a small audience, maybe a dozen people. I much prefer talking to bigger audiences. It is much more difficult to see the boredom in their eyes when there are more people.
I have to speak for about twenty minutes and then take questions. When I was practising this evening I just kept talking and talking and went over the time limit. I am hoping that, if nothing else, I might be able to hypnotise them with my voice. Children up to the age of one or so seem to find my voice fascinating and sometimes watch me intently when I am speaking. It’s not that I hang around small children a lot. I can be sitting in a restaurant or a park and suddenly notice this pair of eyes looking at me and I have managed to transfix another small child. Fortunately I only ever use my superpowers for good.
Anyway, I am hoping it goes ok in the morning because I have to go back in the afternoon to do the second talk even if I stand there like a deer caught in the headlights the first time around...
To lighten your day
Unfortunately, my tube journey was totally unaffected by the tube strike so I made it into work. Actually, when I say “totally unaffected” that is not entirely true. There were less people on the tube so it was more pleasant than normal but the roads were in chaos. I would not want to have been one of the community support officers directing traffic near where I work. Absolute mayhem. I shall keep an eye on the station closure in the vague hope that the situation may worsen and therefore provide me with an excuse to leave work early.
Anyway, with thanks to Annie Mole at the London Underground Tube Diary, here are some amusing announcements that may lighten your spirit if you have had a bad journey to work, or if you don’t live in London make you even more grateful that you don’t.
"A friend of a friend (etc..) worked as a station assistant at Warren Street station and one day whilst making a public announcement re busking/begging on London Underground, got the two slightly confused and came up with the following gem: "London Underground would like to remind everyone that buggering is not allowed at any Underground station!"
"Will the lady going down the escalator please lower her umbrella. It doesn't rain underground".
From the station announcer to a bunch of schoolkids on the platform:"You lot sitting where you think I can't see you - put that fag out, what would your parents think?"
"My friend was waiting the other night for the Northern Line when the tannoy burst into life with the following, which I think sums up British understatement: "When the gentleman urinating on Platform 3 has finished, would he ask the attendant for a mop and bucket. Thank you"
Heard from someone's college days with the wacky prank of pretending to teeter on the edge of the platform: "Will all passengers wishing to kill themselves please do so at a different station. Thank you."
"Could the guy who has decided to defecate at the end of Platform Two, now please be aware that all the rest of the passengers waiting for their trains know you are there and you will have to walk past them to leave the station. There is no other means of escape."
In the mornings there is always a delay with the change of drivers at Rickmansworth on the Metropolitan line and one morning a commuter found out why from the station announcement: "Mr Adams would you please stop gassing to Mr Farnham and get this bloody train out of the station".
"This is the Line Control Room at Baker Street. The Bakerloo Line is running normally today, so you may expect delays to all destinations."
There are many more such delights on Annie’s site here or you can read her blog here.
Anyway, with thanks to Annie Mole at the London Underground Tube Diary, here are some amusing announcements that may lighten your spirit if you have had a bad journey to work, or if you don’t live in London make you even more grateful that you don’t.
"A friend of a friend (etc..) worked as a station assistant at Warren Street station and one day whilst making a public announcement re busking/begging on London Underground, got the two slightly confused and came up with the following gem: "London Underground would like to remind everyone that buggering is not allowed at any Underground station!"
"Will the lady going down the escalator please lower her umbrella. It doesn't rain underground".
From the station announcer to a bunch of schoolkids on the platform:"You lot sitting where you think I can't see you - put that fag out, what would your parents think?"
"My friend was waiting the other night for the Northern Line when the tannoy burst into life with the following, which I think sums up British understatement: "When the gentleman urinating on Platform 3 has finished, would he ask the attendant for a mop and bucket. Thank you"
Heard from someone's college days with the wacky prank of pretending to teeter on the edge of the platform: "Will all passengers wishing to kill themselves please do so at a different station. Thank you."
"Could the guy who has decided to defecate at the end of Platform Two, now please be aware that all the rest of the passengers waiting for their trains know you are there and you will have to walk past them to leave the station. There is no other means of escape."
In the mornings there is always a delay with the change of drivers at Rickmansworth on the Metropolitan line and one morning a commuter found out why from the station announcement: "Mr Adams would you please stop gassing to Mr Farnham and get this bloody train out of the station".
"This is the Line Control Room at Baker Street. The Bakerloo Line is running normally today, so you may expect delays to all destinations."
There are many more such delights on Annie’s site here or you can read her blog here.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Leisure Pursuits
I bumped into my ex-housemate this morning and we had a bit of a chat. It was friendly enough so I think all is well there. That was the first time we’d had any contact since we went our seperate ways in November, in fact she didn’t even send me a Christmas card which I find a bit weird, but anyway it’s all fine.
I went into London last night to buy some DVDs and then went back this afternoon too and had a bit more of a browse. I was hoping to meet up with a friend but she is rabbit sitting at the moment and the rabbit has picked up some kind of bug infestation from the Christmas tree, which doesn’t sound entirely pleasant. What kind of bugs can you pick up from a Christmas tree anyway? I had to head home at a reasonable time because there is due to be a tube strike starting at 6.30 tonight.
It is an unusual strike in that the trains will be running but some stations may be closed. Station staff are meant to be striking because they are having their duties changed. There was a strike for the same reason on New Year’s Eve but the impact was fairly minimal, not that I was in London anyway at the time. I am hopeful that when I get up tomorrow I will discover that the stations I need to use for my journey to work are closed so that I can’t go in... Anyway, if you want some comment on the strike then Annie Mole’s blog is a good source (and don’t forget you can still nominate Annie’s or any of your other favourite blogs in the Bloggies. See my previous post if you have no idea what I am talking about).
Sadly my Head of Unit is due to return to work tomorrow. I can feel the cloud descending already. I get sent a round up of people’s diary so you can tell when people are in the office. My Head of Unit is meant to be having Blackberry training on Friday. I find this particularly odd as she can’t even use her computer. She can just about switch it on, but gets her secretary to print off all the e-mails and then dictates her responses for her secretary to then type and send on her behalf. So I have no idea what she would want a Blackberry for, but I am secretly hoping that it is an early retirement course where they teach you how to eat fruit and other such leisure pursuits. If eating fruit counts as a leisure pursuit...
I went into London last night to buy some DVDs and then went back this afternoon too and had a bit more of a browse. I was hoping to meet up with a friend but she is rabbit sitting at the moment and the rabbit has picked up some kind of bug infestation from the Christmas tree, which doesn’t sound entirely pleasant. What kind of bugs can you pick up from a Christmas tree anyway? I had to head home at a reasonable time because there is due to be a tube strike starting at 6.30 tonight.
It is an unusual strike in that the trains will be running but some stations may be closed. Station staff are meant to be striking because they are having their duties changed. There was a strike for the same reason on New Year’s Eve but the impact was fairly minimal, not that I was in London anyway at the time. I am hopeful that when I get up tomorrow I will discover that the stations I need to use for my journey to work are closed so that I can’t go in... Anyway, if you want some comment on the strike then Annie Mole’s blog is a good source (and don’t forget you can still nominate Annie’s or any of your other favourite blogs in the Bloggies. See my previous post if you have no idea what I am talking about).
Sadly my Head of Unit is due to return to work tomorrow. I can feel the cloud descending already. I get sent a round up of people’s diary so you can tell when people are in the office. My Head of Unit is meant to be having Blackberry training on Friday. I find this particularly odd as she can’t even use her computer. She can just about switch it on, but gets her secretary to print off all the e-mails and then dictates her responses for her secretary to then type and send on her behalf. So I have no idea what she would want a Blackberry for, but I am secretly hoping that it is an early retirement course where they teach you how to eat fruit and other such leisure pursuits. If eating fruit counts as a leisure pursuit...
Saturday, January 07, 2006
A chill in the air
My computer was a bit under the weather earlier. It seemed to object to loading pretty much anything. One of the few things it seemed not to object to was my own blog, so at least it had good taste.
It was freezing when I got up this morning and it was even snowing a bit. The snow now seems to have passed and we are just left with cold and rain instead. Anyway, I dashed into London earlier to see someone for about 15 minutes and then had to head straight back home again to get my hair cut. My hair is now neatly trimmed and I am sure my ear will soon recover from coming up against a particularly vicious comb.
I haven’t done a lot today beyond showing the ultimate in laziness by phoning the library to renew my books, even though it is about 50 yards from my front door. I also went to Tesco. I loathe supermarket shopping and today was no exception, particularly as they seemed not to stock any of the things that I wanted. Even the totally bog standard loaf of bread that I usually buy. Absolutely useless.
Anyway, on a totally different subject, you might be interested in the website Political Compass. You basically answer a series of questions and it plots your political leanings based on economic and social factors. I came out as an economic left social libertarian but reasonably near the centre. (-4.38/ -3.59 if that makes sense). That is pretty accurate. I definitely lean toward the left, but am not particularly extreme in any of my views. It might keep you amused for a few minutes.
It was freezing when I got up this morning and it was even snowing a bit. The snow now seems to have passed and we are just left with cold and rain instead. Anyway, I dashed into London earlier to see someone for about 15 minutes and then had to head straight back home again to get my hair cut. My hair is now neatly trimmed and I am sure my ear will soon recover from coming up against a particularly vicious comb.
I haven’t done a lot today beyond showing the ultimate in laziness by phoning the library to renew my books, even though it is about 50 yards from my front door. I also went to Tesco. I loathe supermarket shopping and today was no exception, particularly as they seemed not to stock any of the things that I wanted. Even the totally bog standard loaf of bread that I usually buy. Absolutely useless.
Anyway, on a totally different subject, you might be interested in the website Political Compass. You basically answer a series of questions and it plots your political leanings based on economic and social factors. I came out as an economic left social libertarian but reasonably near the centre. (-4.38/ -3.59 if that makes sense). That is pretty accurate. I definitely lean toward the left, but am not particularly extreme in any of my views. It might keep you amused for a few minutes.
Friday, January 06, 2006
A lighter note
I thought I would write a slightly more cheery post than the one earlier today.
As weeks go it went quite well. Only a four day week and although I was on call, I did not get one call the entire time. I think that is practically unheard of. So that was good and meant my sleep was left undisturbed. Always a priority.
I walked past Westminster Abbey tonight and as I did so the bells started to ring and it was really rather lovely walking through Parliament Square with the bells chiming in the background. I don’t think I have ever heard the Westminster Abbey bells before (unless it was on TV). Anna Overseas wrote a nice post about visiting London, including Westminster Abbey, a couple of days ago. I must try and go and Evensong there sometime, her description sounded really beautiful. I must also go on a London Walk. I have been meaning to for ages. [I’ll put a link to the actual post soon but it doesn’t seem to be working properly at the moment].
I also saw that Cadbury’s Creme Eggs are on sale. I know that it is totally ridiculous that in January you can buy a product related to Easter – Easter is in April!! – but I do like Cadbury’s Creme Eggs, despite them being really sweet and seemingly shrinking in size every year. I would do pretty much anything for a Cadbury’s Creme Egg or a Cadbury’s Double Decker for that matter. Mmm.....
As weeks go it went quite well. Only a four day week and although I was on call, I did not get one call the entire time. I think that is practically unheard of. So that was good and meant my sleep was left undisturbed. Always a priority.
I walked past Westminster Abbey tonight and as I did so the bells started to ring and it was really rather lovely walking through Parliament Square with the bells chiming in the background. I don’t think I have ever heard the Westminster Abbey bells before (unless it was on TV). Anna Overseas wrote a nice post about visiting London, including Westminster Abbey, a couple of days ago. I must try and go and Evensong there sometime, her description sounded really beautiful. I must also go on a London Walk. I have been meaning to for ages. [I’ll put a link to the actual post soon but it doesn’t seem to be working properly at the moment].
I also saw that Cadbury’s Creme Eggs are on sale. I know that it is totally ridiculous that in January you can buy a product related to Easter – Easter is in April!! – but I do like Cadbury’s Creme Eggs, despite them being really sweet and seemingly shrinking in size every year. I would do pretty much anything for a Cadbury’s Creme Egg or a Cadbury’s Double Decker for that matter. Mmm.....
Lows
I was decidedly unimpressed to learn that the Evening Standard and The Times published photos of a woman committing suicide. They not only published a photo of her standing on the top of the building preparing to jump but also of her as she plummeted to the ground. Apparently a passer-by took the photo. I don’t know the circumstances of it ending up in the hands of the press but I cannot imagine what would justify giving it to the media, or for them publishing it. A friend of the woman who died has made a complaint to the Press Complaints Commission.
To me, pretty much the worst photos published about 11 September 2001 were those of the people who jumped to their deaths from the twin towers rather than remain trapped in the building. Showing anyone at the most desperate point of their life strikes me as unjustifiable. It couldn’t necessarily be avoided when images were being broadcast live on TV but there is a level of editorial decision-making when it comes to publishing something in the newspapers. Apparently the media have now agreed never to publish those photos again.
Anyway, I was thinking about that story, as they were talking about it on the radio this morning. However, it became a bit more pertinent to me at lunchtime today when I met up with a friend for lunch. C is one of my best mates and we meet up pretty much every week for a cuppa and a chat. She had phoned me earlier in the week and we’d chatted briefly. She’d mentioned that her mum was really depressed and it had come on very suddenly a day or so before Christmas. Without going into the circumstances, it seems that a couple of days ago her mum decided that suicide was the only option. Fortunately, it worked out so that she didn’t go through with it but these are still very dark days.
We just sat there and talked about it. My friend’s mum doesn’t want to see anyone at the moment, so C doesn’t know whether she should go home or not, in case it makes things worse. She is also trying to support her dad and her brother, who are wondering what to do. Normally there is at least a trigger for her depression but this time it seems to have come from nowhere.
Depression can be triggered by something specific or seemingly nothing. It is also something that you cannot come up with a one size fits all solution for. Some people respond to medication, others need counselling and so on. But anyone who reaches the point of even contemplating suicide doesn’t need images of others’ plight broadcast for all to see.
I don’t know why I continue to be surprised by the new lows to which the media can sink, but once again they have surpassed themselves.
To me, pretty much the worst photos published about 11 September 2001 were those of the people who jumped to their deaths from the twin towers rather than remain trapped in the building. Showing anyone at the most desperate point of their life strikes me as unjustifiable. It couldn’t necessarily be avoided when images were being broadcast live on TV but there is a level of editorial decision-making when it comes to publishing something in the newspapers. Apparently the media have now agreed never to publish those photos again.
Anyway, I was thinking about that story, as they were talking about it on the radio this morning. However, it became a bit more pertinent to me at lunchtime today when I met up with a friend for lunch. C is one of my best mates and we meet up pretty much every week for a cuppa and a chat. She had phoned me earlier in the week and we’d chatted briefly. She’d mentioned that her mum was really depressed and it had come on very suddenly a day or so before Christmas. Without going into the circumstances, it seems that a couple of days ago her mum decided that suicide was the only option. Fortunately, it worked out so that she didn’t go through with it but these are still very dark days.
We just sat there and talked about it. My friend’s mum doesn’t want to see anyone at the moment, so C doesn’t know whether she should go home or not, in case it makes things worse. She is also trying to support her dad and her brother, who are wondering what to do. Normally there is at least a trigger for her depression but this time it seems to have come from nowhere.
Depression can be triggered by something specific or seemingly nothing. It is also something that you cannot come up with a one size fits all solution for. Some people respond to medication, others need counselling and so on. But anyone who reaches the point of even contemplating suicide doesn’t need images of others’ plight broadcast for all to see.
I don’t know why I continue to be surprised by the new lows to which the media can sink, but once again they have surpassed themselves.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Time to pack again
So, the house was nice and I am going to move in at the end of the month. I am going to have to put a lot of my stuff in storage as there won't be room for it there. The woman who owns the house was really friendly and I spent a while chatting to her and one of her sons and his girlfriend over a cup of tea.
Anyway, more tomorrow as I am feeling really tired. Working a four day week is really hard work. What am I going to do when I have to work five days next week?
Sleep well.
Anyway, more tomorrow as I am feeling really tired. Working a four day week is really hard work. What am I going to do when I have to work five days next week?
Sleep well.
Options
I had a really delayed journey home last night. Someone was taken ill on the train so we had to wait for an ambulance to turn up before we could continue. The person must have been very ill because I have been on trains before where people have been taken ill and London Underground staff just get the person off the train as soon as possible to keep the service moving. A woman fainted on the train once and they carried her of and put her on the platform so the train could move off. Charming. Anyway, three paramedics arrived and eventually wheeled the person away.
The friend I spent New Year with set me a target of claiming back 80% of my tube fares this year. Basically if you are delayed on the tube for 15 minutes or more you can fill out a form and they’ll refund your fare. However, an 80% refund would mean getting back about £1200, which is no mean feat, particularly as the most I have ever claimed back is £120. But you never know unless you try and I have now claimed back about £4 of it because of last night’s delay, so only another £1996 to go.
One of my colleagues said to me this morning that her six year old daughter would be willing to rent me her Wendy house that is in their back garden. Apparently it has a full range of (to scale) appliances and would include free use of the garden slide. The rent would be in the form of sweets. So this could be the fall back plan if tonight’s house viewing doesn’t work out. Always good to have options.
The friend I spent New Year with set me a target of claiming back 80% of my tube fares this year. Basically if you are delayed on the tube for 15 minutes or more you can fill out a form and they’ll refund your fare. However, an 80% refund would mean getting back about £1200, which is no mean feat, particularly as the most I have ever claimed back is £120. But you never know unless you try and I have now claimed back about £4 of it because of last night’s delay, so only another £1996 to go.
One of my colleagues said to me this morning that her six year old daughter would be willing to rent me her Wendy house that is in their back garden. Apparently it has a full range of (to scale) appliances and would include free use of the garden slide. The rent would be in the form of sweets. So this could be the fall back plan if tonight’s house viewing doesn’t work out. Always good to have options.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Things are looking up
This evening I had a long conversation on the phone with the woman who is looking for a tenant. It seems she hadn't got the message that I had left, so it was a good job I had phoned back. The house sounds really nice and I am going over to have a look at it tomorrow night. It's £340 a month including bills which is very good by London standards.
I am feeling much relieved. Of course, I may decide I hate the place tomorrow or think the woman is awful, but somehow I doubt it. Suddenly feeling much more positive.
I am feeling much relieved. Of course, I may decide I hate the place tomorrow or think the woman is awful, but somehow I doubt it. Suddenly feeling much more positive.
The calm before the storm
I feel much better today, as whatever was making me feel unwell yesterday has gone. It was probably a combination of getting up while it was still dark (which I think should be banned), returning to work, and using a mug that had sat on my desk unwashed for the couple of weeks I was on leave. I did wash the mug before I used it, but perhaps I should have used an industrial strength cleaning product.
Last night I phoned and left a message for the woman who might possibly have a spare room, but she hasn’t called me back yet. Hopefully I will speak to her tonight to find out the situation. A friend texted me last night and said that I can store some stuff in her garage if I want and I am also considering offering to loan some of my furniture to a friend who has just bought a house. I don’t suppose he can have very much furniture and so it might help him to spread out the cost of moving a bit more and would mean that my stuff was at least being put to some use. So I am trying not to get stressed and am instead focussing on planning what to do about my impending move.
You will probably have seen the story in the news about the miners in West Virginia. They were trapped in a mine following an explosion and through mis-communication their families were told that all but one had survived, but in fact all but one had died. That must be really awful for the families. It would be hard enough losing someone but being given that brief glimmer of hope to then have it dashed, must make it all the worse.
It is still really quiet at work. In fact there seem to be less people in today than yesterday. There is also the added bonus of my Head of Unit not being back until Monday, so that has made it rather more pleasant to be back in the office. Somebody said to me yesterday that it makes such a difference to the atmosphere at work to not have our Head of Unit constantly giving us a hard time. It is amazing the impact that one person can have on your working environment, but I shall enjoy the peace and quiet while it lasts.
Last night I phoned and left a message for the woman who might possibly have a spare room, but she hasn’t called me back yet. Hopefully I will speak to her tonight to find out the situation. A friend texted me last night and said that I can store some stuff in her garage if I want and I am also considering offering to loan some of my furniture to a friend who has just bought a house. I don’t suppose he can have very much furniture and so it might help him to spread out the cost of moving a bit more and would mean that my stuff was at least being put to some use. So I am trying not to get stressed and am instead focussing on planning what to do about my impending move.
You will probably have seen the story in the news about the miners in West Virginia. They were trapped in a mine following an explosion and through mis-communication their families were told that all but one had survived, but in fact all but one had died. That must be really awful for the families. It would be hard enough losing someone but being given that brief glimmer of hope to then have it dashed, must make it all the worse.
It is still really quiet at work. In fact there seem to be less people in today than yesterday. There is also the added bonus of my Head of Unit not being back until Monday, so that has made it rather more pleasant to be back in the office. Somebody said to me yesterday that it makes such a difference to the atmosphere at work to not have our Head of Unit constantly giving us a hard time. It is amazing the impact that one person can have on your working environment, but I shall enjoy the peace and quiet while it lasts.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Back to work
I have been feeling decidedly unwell most of the day. I am hardly ever ill. I haven’t had a day off sick from work for almost five years, so when I feel unwell, I don’t really know quite what to do with myself. When I was at work I was thinking 'Should I go home? Is the journey home going to make me feel worse?' I just feel really sick and can’t quite stand up straight as that makes me feel more ill. I also feel really, really cold and my hands keep shaking. These are probably not good symptoms.
I wanted one of my colleagues to wheel me to the station on my office chair and then deposit me on a tube train seat so that I didn’t have to move myself. However, you probably aren’t meant to remove items of furniture from the office, so perhaps that isn’t the best idea.
When I got home I had some soup and a bit of toast. It was wonton soup because it was all I had in the cupboard but I guess if Chinese medicine can make you better then maybe Chinese soup can. Right?
Beyond feeling ill, it has also been a frustrating day in that there was an e-mail from the people whose house I am living in at the moment saying that they need the house back at the end of January. Although not entirely unexpected, it is still somewhat unwelcome news. I have only just settled in and now I have to pack everything up again. Not that I have anywhere to go as yet. I sent a friend an e-mail this morning to ask if a possibility they had mentioned to me a few weeks ago might still be available. I have now got a phone number and will phone the woman in a bit to find out if it might be an option. I really do need to sort out somewhere permanent to live because moving house a lot is not a life I am suited to.
Apart from that work was fine. Very few of us were in, but I spent a while talking to one of my team about his concerns about the high turn over of staff that we have at the moment. The main reason for people wanting to leave is that they have had enough of our Head of Unit being so rude to them. Our staff survey results are starting to be published now and I am hoping that at last some action might be taken about the way people are treated. In the interim we need to hang on to staff though, as they are good people and deserve to be treated better. A few months ago I even approached HR about my concerns because I thought it totally unacceptable that people were spoken to in the way that they are. HR agreed but said there was little that could be done.
I also found out today that one of my team got an honour in the New Year’s List, for something non-work related though. I am, however, taking personal credit for it. One of my team was given an honour in June. I had been his manager for about two weeks when it was announced. I had been the manager of the person who has just been awarded an honour for about 3 or 4 weeks before it was announced. Coincidence? I think not. [Actually in case you don’t know anything about the awards process, you are nominated for it months and sometimes a year in advance of it being announced, so it has nothing to do with me being their manager at all, but I obviously have delusions of grandeur].
Anyway, it has been a mixed return to work, some good stuff, and some bad. Now I need to put my thinking cap on and find somewhere new to live.
I wanted one of my colleagues to wheel me to the station on my office chair and then deposit me on a tube train seat so that I didn’t have to move myself. However, you probably aren’t meant to remove items of furniture from the office, so perhaps that isn’t the best idea.
When I got home I had some soup and a bit of toast. It was wonton soup because it was all I had in the cupboard but I guess if Chinese medicine can make you better then maybe Chinese soup can. Right?
Beyond feeling ill, it has also been a frustrating day in that there was an e-mail from the people whose house I am living in at the moment saying that they need the house back at the end of January. Although not entirely unexpected, it is still somewhat unwelcome news. I have only just settled in and now I have to pack everything up again. Not that I have anywhere to go as yet. I sent a friend an e-mail this morning to ask if a possibility they had mentioned to me a few weeks ago might still be available. I have now got a phone number and will phone the woman in a bit to find out if it might be an option. I really do need to sort out somewhere permanent to live because moving house a lot is not a life I am suited to.
Apart from that work was fine. Very few of us were in, but I spent a while talking to one of my team about his concerns about the high turn over of staff that we have at the moment. The main reason for people wanting to leave is that they have had enough of our Head of Unit being so rude to them. Our staff survey results are starting to be published now and I am hoping that at last some action might be taken about the way people are treated. In the interim we need to hang on to staff though, as they are good people and deserve to be treated better. A few months ago I even approached HR about my concerns because I thought it totally unacceptable that people were spoken to in the way that they are. HR agreed but said there was little that could be done.
I also found out today that one of my team got an honour in the New Year’s List, for something non-work related though. I am, however, taking personal credit for it. One of my team was given an honour in June. I had been his manager for about two weeks when it was announced. I had been the manager of the person who has just been awarded an honour for about 3 or 4 weeks before it was announced. Coincidence? I think not. [Actually in case you don’t know anything about the awards process, you are nominated for it months and sometimes a year in advance of it being announced, so it has nothing to do with me being their manager at all, but I obviously have delusions of grandeur].
Anyway, it has been a mixed return to work, some good stuff, and some bad. Now I need to put my thinking cap on and find somewhere new to live.
The Bloggies are coming
It’s the Bloggies time of year again. What are those you may be asking? Basically, they are the blogging world’s equivalent of the Oscars, but without the statue.
Anyway, if you want to nominate your favourite blogs, here’s the link. This is not actually a plea for you to nominate me. I have done my nominations and I assure you I was not within them. However, it is a request for you to consider noimnating Annie Mole’s blog London Underground Tube Diary in the categories of ‘Best British or Irish Weblog’ and ‘Best Topical Blog’. If you don’t live in London then her site may not be of primary interest to you, but it is a great blog and she has just been awarded the World’s Best Urban Blogger. She has twice got through to the finals of the Bloggies but has never actually won. So maybe this is the year for her?
Even if you don’t vote for Annie, you probably have various blogs that you really like reading, so why not nominate them? You have until 10 January to make the nominations and you can then vote for the blogs that get through that stage from 20 January onwards. I will try and remember to put a reminder up.
My nominations are in, so I cannot be bribed, but the people I link to over on the right tend to feature pretty highly in my nominations, if that helps to massage any egos.
Update: [You have to read this in a whispered tone, as the person I am going to mention has gone all coy]. Someone else you might like to consider nominating is Anna at Little Red Boat. Another jolly good read. But obviously it's just a suggestion and it's up to you who you may wish to nominate.
Anyway, if you want to nominate your favourite blogs, here’s the link. This is not actually a plea for you to nominate me. I have done my nominations and I assure you I was not within them. However, it is a request for you to consider noimnating Annie Mole’s blog London Underground Tube Diary in the categories of ‘Best British or Irish Weblog’ and ‘Best Topical Blog’. If you don’t live in London then her site may not be of primary interest to you, but it is a great blog and she has just been awarded the World’s Best Urban Blogger. She has twice got through to the finals of the Bloggies but has never actually won. So maybe this is the year for her?
Even if you don’t vote for Annie, you probably have various blogs that you really like reading, so why not nominate them? You have until 10 January to make the nominations and you can then vote for the blogs that get through that stage from 20 January onwards. I will try and remember to put a reminder up.
My nominations are in, so I cannot be bribed, but the people I link to over on the right tend to feature pretty highly in my nominations, if that helps to massage any egos.
Update: [You have to read this in a whispered tone, as the person I am going to mention has gone all coy]. Someone else you might like to consider nominating is Anna at Little Red Boat. Another jolly good read. But obviously it's just a suggestion and it's up to you who you may wish to nominate.
Monday, January 02, 2006
Dutch courage
Sadly it is my last day of leave, as it is back to work tomorrow. It seems to have gone by so quickly. I spent the day with my mum, sister and nephew, which was good. My nephew is 9 months old and is very cute. I am also now the proud owner of a shiny new DVD recorder. Woo-hoo! I shall wire it up later.
Anyway, on other matters, recently I was thinking about the fact that I don’t drink alcohol. I have seen the ill-effects of alcohol consumption too many times to have much interest in it.
However, there are some things that I think maybe I lose out on by not drinking. The main thing is that my inhibitions are never lowered. On the whole that is probably a good thing, I am never going to wake up next to someone and think "I don’t even know who you are". I also don’t end up giving away people’s secrets in some drunken moment. But it does mean that I am always looking at the world from the same, entirely sober, perspective.
I am someone who is reasonably risk averse. That has changed to some degree over the last few years because I think as you get older you reach a point where you realise that if you aren’t willing to take risks you will end up achieving nothing. Doing anything new involves an element of risk because there is some unknown element within it and you just have to work out which risks are worth it. I suppose that’s where the problem comes into it for me though. As I have just said, I have to "work out" whether it is worth the risk, there is always that element of analysing it. It never seems to be totally off the cuff. That’s not entirely true, there are times when I have done stuff because the opportunity has presented itself, such as a sky dive in New Zealand a few years ago. If you ever get the chance you should do one, it was fantastic.
Anyway, if I am having dinner with people, I can see them relax a bit more when they have had a drink. Whereas sipping a diet coke doesn’t have quite the same effect. I am generally reasonably shy, when people have known me for a while they say they don’t think that is true. People at work also find it odd if I say that because I can stand up in front of a couple of hundred people and give a presentation without it worrying me. But I don’t think that is the same thing, my shyness comes from unfamiliar situations. Meeting new people brings out my shy side, so that doesn’t apply when I have known someone for a while, and if I am giving a talk, I usually know the topic reasonably well and so my confidence comes from the familiarity of knowing my subject. Networking should be a big part of my job, but I hate it so much and sometimes think that maybe a glass of wine would make it slightly more bearable and give me the ability to relax a bit more whilst making small talk with people I have never met before.
Often people only say things when they have had a bit to drink. I went to the pub with people after work on the day I finished for Christmas. As I was leaving I stopped to say goodbye to my colleague K and thanked her for being such a good friend over the last few months. She is the person I called when I bumped into the ex a couple of months ago and we sat in the cafe at work and I cried and she gave me words of wisdom. One of my other colleagues overheard what I was saying to K at the pub and made some comment about needing to be drunk to say what I was. I wasn’t actually saying anything very profound, I was just saying thank you in my usual stumbling way. Somehow though it seems more acceptable to compliment or thank someone when you have had a bit to drink, and people think you are a bit weird if you do it when you’re sober.
So that seems to make my choice to either take up drinking so that I can tell people I appreciate them, or to remain sober and be silent. Isn’t that more strange? I guess at least people know I am sincere when I say things. However, it means that I have had to learn to pay someone a compliment just because I want to, rather than having a bit of "Dutch Courage" to encourage me. Being sober can therefore be a challenge in its own way, as you never have an excuse to do or say things. I try and push myself anyway to show people a bit of appreciation and respect if I feel that I should say something, but sometimes it would be good to have a bit of help!
As you can tell, I also obviously have the ability to ramble without the need for a drink...
Anyway, on other matters, recently I was thinking about the fact that I don’t drink alcohol. I have seen the ill-effects of alcohol consumption too many times to have much interest in it.
However, there are some things that I think maybe I lose out on by not drinking. The main thing is that my inhibitions are never lowered. On the whole that is probably a good thing, I am never going to wake up next to someone and think "I don’t even know who you are". I also don’t end up giving away people’s secrets in some drunken moment. But it does mean that I am always looking at the world from the same, entirely sober, perspective.
I am someone who is reasonably risk averse. That has changed to some degree over the last few years because I think as you get older you reach a point where you realise that if you aren’t willing to take risks you will end up achieving nothing. Doing anything new involves an element of risk because there is some unknown element within it and you just have to work out which risks are worth it. I suppose that’s where the problem comes into it for me though. As I have just said, I have to "work out" whether it is worth the risk, there is always that element of analysing it. It never seems to be totally off the cuff. That’s not entirely true, there are times when I have done stuff because the opportunity has presented itself, such as a sky dive in New Zealand a few years ago. If you ever get the chance you should do one, it was fantastic.
Anyway, if I am having dinner with people, I can see them relax a bit more when they have had a drink. Whereas sipping a diet coke doesn’t have quite the same effect. I am generally reasonably shy, when people have known me for a while they say they don’t think that is true. People at work also find it odd if I say that because I can stand up in front of a couple of hundred people and give a presentation without it worrying me. But I don’t think that is the same thing, my shyness comes from unfamiliar situations. Meeting new people brings out my shy side, so that doesn’t apply when I have known someone for a while, and if I am giving a talk, I usually know the topic reasonably well and so my confidence comes from the familiarity of knowing my subject. Networking should be a big part of my job, but I hate it so much and sometimes think that maybe a glass of wine would make it slightly more bearable and give me the ability to relax a bit more whilst making small talk with people I have never met before.
Often people only say things when they have had a bit to drink. I went to the pub with people after work on the day I finished for Christmas. As I was leaving I stopped to say goodbye to my colleague K and thanked her for being such a good friend over the last few months. She is the person I called when I bumped into the ex a couple of months ago and we sat in the cafe at work and I cried and she gave me words of wisdom. One of my other colleagues overheard what I was saying to K at the pub and made some comment about needing to be drunk to say what I was. I wasn’t actually saying anything very profound, I was just saying thank you in my usual stumbling way. Somehow though it seems more acceptable to compliment or thank someone when you have had a bit to drink, and people think you are a bit weird if you do it when you’re sober.
So that seems to make my choice to either take up drinking so that I can tell people I appreciate them, or to remain sober and be silent. Isn’t that more strange? I guess at least people know I am sincere when I say things. However, it means that I have had to learn to pay someone a compliment just because I want to, rather than having a bit of "Dutch Courage" to encourage me. Being sober can therefore be a challenge in its own way, as you never have an excuse to do or say things. I try and push myself anyway to show people a bit of appreciation and respect if I feel that I should say something, but sometimes it would be good to have a bit of help!
As you can tell, I also obviously have the ability to ramble without the need for a drink...
Sunday, January 01, 2006
And another thing
Today I was reminded of one of my favourite blog posts from 2005. As usual, I can’t really explain exactly why I like it so much (I do actually have an A-level in English, as unbelievable as that may seem), except that it’s one of those posts that you read and you can just really feel what it says and think how great it would be if someone were actually to say that to you. It also made me laugh, in a nice way.
Anyway, here it is. It’s called "Fire" and is from the Fuzzy End of the Lollipop
I never thought for one moment she might have the similar insecurities about her body as I do. I look at her effortlessly female lines and I want to know every part of them. She asked me ‘are you attracted to me?’ as I held both hands on the steering wheel. ‘Yes very much so’ doesn’t really cover it and maybe I should have said ‘I spend most of our time trying not to touch you too much, cause I want to all the time, touch you. I go around with this fire inside ever since we first kissed and the very thought of you threatens to engulf me in flames.’ But maybe that is coming on a wee bit too strong.
Great post and Fuzzy, you should have said it! I would, once again, tip my hat, but I still haven’t found the blasted thing.
Anyway, here it is. It’s called "Fire" and is from the Fuzzy End of the Lollipop
I never thought for one moment she might have the similar insecurities about her body as I do. I look at her effortlessly female lines and I want to know every part of them. She asked me ‘are you attracted to me?’ as I held both hands on the steering wheel. ‘Yes very much so’ doesn’t really cover it and maybe I should have said ‘I spend most of our time trying not to touch you too much, cause I want to all the time, touch you. I go around with this fire inside ever since we first kissed and the very thought of you threatens to engulf me in flames.’ But maybe that is coming on a wee bit too strong.
Great post and Fuzzy, you should have said it! I would, once again, tip my hat, but I still haven’t found the blasted thing.
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