Many of us believe that when we feel down, we should try to focus inwardly and evaluate our feelings and our situation in order to attain self-insight and find solutions that might ultimately resolve our problems and relieve unhappiness. Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, I, and others have compiled a great deal of evidence challenging this assumption. Numerous studies over the past two decades have shown that to the contrary, overthinking ushers in a host of adverse consequences: It sustains or worsens sadness, fosters negatively biased thinking, impairs a person’s ability to solve problems, saps motivation, and interferes with concentration and initiative. Moreover, although people have a strong sense that they are gaining insight into themselves and their problems during their ruminations, this is rarely the case. What they do gain is a distorted, pessimistic perspective on their lives.
Professor Sonja Lyubomirsky - The How of Happiness
11 comments:
Interesting thoughts on the subject. Hope all is well. TFx
Being unhappy and being depressed are canyons apart. When unhappy I like to distract myself with red squirrels, sausage dogs, open spaces and bloody good coffee. When depressed, I need external assistance. Neither are resolved by introspection alone, but some analysis of what's causing it and how to overcome/get round it is necessary to recognise and avoid or learn from in the future. Happiness should never be a permanent state, neither should sorrow. We need a rhythm and range of emotions if we are truly engaged with the world. Anger is just as important as happiness if you use it well...
TF - Good to hear from you. Things are fine, if a little tiring at the moment. I hope you are well. Take care x
Gripes - Yes, you are right. It is easy to be simplistic about these things and to fail to recognise what our mind and state of well-being are showing us. We can brush over those things and fail to really deal with the root problem.
We need to experience a range of emotions, and in fact to fail to do so in itself is potentially an issue.
I might have to try some of your remedies when I am feeling unhappy. They have already inspired me and lifted my spirits!
I hope all is well north of the border.
Interesting thoughts! I agree the worst thing, for me, is internalising, if I'm feeling blue. Being unhappy is about actions/steps taken to make yourself happy again......maybe there is a tenuous link!
Hi Spudgy - I hope you're well. I think, generally, the thing's that make me feel most unhappy is feeling out of control or unable to influence things going on in my life. So, like you, action etc, and a sense of accomplishment can be what makes me feel most happy. Although I do think that it would be good to cultivate a sense of happiness at just "being".
Ah for the 'just being' thing you have to think like a female dog.....I practice sitting exchanging looks with my female gsd (who has the 'i'm a dog, I'm a dog look and pant off to a t') I try to imitate and then usually end up giggling stupidly! Well, it works for me :-)
spudgy - I had never thought of this approach (funnily enough)! I will have to see if I can find a friendly dog (picking the wrong one to exchange glances with could prove a mistake...) and see if I can use it as a form of therapy.
I guess I'll either end up laughing or in A&E...
if you end up in a&e make sure they give you the right anti-biotics!!!!
If you can't find a doggie...on the next trip to the south coast your more than welcome a loan of both of the monsters...I mean cute and adorable doggies.
Spudgy - actually I know someone who last week took what she thought were headache tablets, but actually turned out to be very strong antibiotics. Apparently this isn't the first time her boyfriend has given her the wrong tablets. Suspicious?
I'd better book a trip to the south coast!
hmmm....I'd be sending the boyfriend to specsavers!!
Spudgy - or prison...
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