Several years ago, I previously worked where I do now. Yesterday someone who still works there was talking to someone else (and sort of to me) and said “when [Random] worked here before she was slim”. I rather protested about the implications of that comment, and whilst it wouldn’t do any harm to lose a few pounds, I am not verging on the obese. Anyway, to truly register my horror at her comment I sat on her and killed her*.
*part of this story may not be true.