Thursday, January 10, 2008

Distance




I spoke to soon about my book list. If you never take on board anything else that I say then perhaps you will still remember this. If you spend ages working out a list of books to read, when you wash your jeans do remember to remove it from your pocket. *shakes head in despair*

Whilst my thoughts on last year are that the quality of relationships has deteriorated there have actually been a couple of good things that have happened this week. When I checked my work e-mail on Monday there was an e-mail from a friend who contacted me before Christmas to try and arrange to meet up for a drink, but as I was already on leave I hadn’t got it. I replied to his e-mail and when he responded he said that that morning he had been thinking about the fact he hadn’t hear from me and was a bit concerned about what was going on. Sometimes I just go through phases of being a bit anti-social and he had actually texted me as well (although I hadn’t realised it was just to me) and I didn’t get round to replying to it. He had been down in London over Christmas and said he would have dropped in had he known. I think I was just kind of touched that it bothered him.

Then on Tuesday I got an e-mail from my friend S, who was one of my housemates at university, and she said that she had tried to phone me the previous evening and said “I didn’t have anything particular to say. I just missed you.” I have been particularly anti-social with her because sometimes I just don’t know what to say to her and some of the things I say she just doesn’t want to hear, but then she phoned me last night and we had a good chat about nothing in particular and I am now going to see her at the end of January. Eek.

So that’s all progress of sorts, even if just by realising that it does actually make a difference to my friends if they hear from me or not. I guess it is nice to feel missed.

4 comments:

Lemonpillows said...

I know what you mean. I often found that while I was going through an 'anti-social' phase, my friends were going through an 'I must have done something wrong for her not to contact me' phase. We're all as paranoid and lacking in self-confidence as each other, it seems.

And if you're coming to the coast near where I live - pop in and say hullo!! :D

titration said...

Why have you been anti-social? I wish my friends noticed more sometimes. But then there's a reason they aren't sure they want to hear what's going on in my life. ;)

Glad you feel missed!

Tom Foolery (TF) said...

1001 Books to Read Before You Die, now I might just get myself a copy.
.
Is "The Ballad of Lee Cotton" by Christopher Wilson on the list? if not it should be. Read it!(if you fancy). I would send you my copy but it's still damp:)TFX

Random Reflections said...

Lemonpillows - I think I am more anti-social than my friends, but sometimes I wonder if they even notice!

I will be very near to you actually. I'll send you a text or an e-mail and try and arrange something. It's the weekend of 23 Feb.

titration - Good question. Too long an answer for my comments but I think in part because I find it easier to bury my head in the sand and that also over the last few months I have had difficult conversations with some friends and have received mixed reactions. At times I think I just shy away because I am scared of rejection and so I keep myself to myself in the hope that it all magically goes away, but that can be a bit of a lonely place. Sometimes it can be a hard call for me to work out what I fear the most - the potential of rejection or letting my friends slip through my fingers.

Having said that, I do have some very lovely friends and at times I need to have more confidence in how great they are.

TF - I found the book quite good for ideas - and also to find out what the hidden meaning was in some of the books I have actually read! No I don't think that book was in it, but as you are so enthusiastic about it, I will try and track down a copy.