Downgrading

Despite having some Irish blood in me, I have never had much interest in celebrating St Patrick’s Day. This year it seems like it was a good thing, as it was cancelled. Charming. Still it might mean that there are a good few people with slightly less sore heads today – because I am sure that they will have listened to the church telling them that due to it being Holy Week, St Patrick’s Day was ‘downgraded’.

The dog we have at work seemed to eat well yesterday. His owner snuck a whole tray of sandwiches out of the office and I saw her removing all the fillings and feeding them to the dog. She just chucked all the bread in the bin. I was really unimpressed, partly because I would have quite liked to eat some of the sandwiches, but mainly because work had paid for those and they will have cost a lot of money and instead they were just fed to a dog. Dogs aren’t even meant to eat human food, as it can kill them. It’s why dog food was invented. I do wonder about the people I work with sometimes.

I also wonder about this. It seems that Basil Brush is being investigated for racism. That’s right, a toy fox is being investigated for racism. In an episode that was originally broadcast six years ago. Right… Mind you, if you spent your life with someone's hand up your backside, you might also make an occasional inappropriate comment. Set the dogs on him, I say.

Finally… if you ever look at your life and wonder what it would be like to start all over again, then maybe you can relate to Ian Usher. If you can relate to Ian Usher then why not buy his life. Yep, buy his life. From 22 June, you have one week in which to place the winning bid on e-Bay to buy his life in Australia and you can have everything from his home, to his car, to his job at the local rug shop (on a two week trial for that bit. It seems that his current employer is willing to give it a go but not entirely insane) and even his friends. He will walk away with his passport and his wallet and hop on the first flight out of Australia. Perhaps you need some time to think about this. Well, you have until bidding starts on 22 June, what more do you need?