This statement is being issued in response to the growing rumours and speculation about the living circumstances of Random Reflections.
It is now possible to confirm that G will be resident at the aforementioned’s property. When asked for a comment on the new living arrangement G said “This is the best thing that has ever happened to me in my whole entire life. I’m so excited, I just can’t hide it. I’m about to lose control and I think I like it”. Random commented “I’m expecting my dinner to be on the table when I get home each night, my slippers to be warming by the fire and my pipe waiting for me on the mantelpiece. I’m quite some catch and G knows it”.
Long discussions ensued in advance of the decision. During those discussions it was agreed that G would do all the cooking and clean the kitchen and bathroom. Random agreed to get the hoover out of the cupboard on occasion – and perhaps sometimes actually switch it on.
Commentators from across the world have stated that this is a truly momentous occasion and will be included in the history books along side the death of Princess Diana, the shooting of JFK and the moon landings.
Notes to Editors:
1. Random has been declared as of sound mind. These recent events have called this into question for G.
2. All quotes attributed to G require a Scottish accent.
3. G may not quite recall providing the quotes. Refer to note 1.
4. Romance is not dead
London’s Alleys – Gunthorpe Street, E1
19 hours ago