Opportunities

I was talking to someone at work the other day, who as it turns out has been really ill over the last couple of months and almost died. She was explaining what had happened and whilst she did not go into great detail, I began to feel me head start swimming and had to bring the conversation to an end before I ended up passing out. I had to sit down for a few minutes until my head stopped swimming. I am such a wimp.

Yesterday my boss told me that there are proposals for more changes at work. My heart just sank. We have been through so many changes already – the place I work has grown at a massive rate, names have changed, priorities have changed. I was in a unit that merged with another unit and then a few months later we split off again. I’ve had countless changes of bosses (at a range of levels) and probably lost of other things that I have chosen to forget. Now the suggestion is that part of another organisation joins us. I think this would be really bad news for me and I am hoping that it won’t happen. Certainly everyone I know is arguing against it, but it is for others rather more senior to take the ultimate decision.

I have actually been feeling quite down about work this year and have been thinking that maybe I just need to move on from the organisation in which I currently work. Yesterday’s news just made me think that I cannot stand working somewhere that is in constant flux. I want to go into work, know what it is that I am trying to achieve, get that done and go home again. I’m not sure that is possible where I work. I try to focus on what I have to do and let the other stuff range on around me, but it is easier said than done.

So yesterday afternoon I sent a couple of e-mails to old bosses and just mentioned that I might be seeking out a new job. I knew that one has a job going but applications close today, so I didn’t want to apply for that right now. That old boss sent me a reply and said she didn’t know of any other jobs coming up in the near future but she’d keep me in mind if one came up. The other old boss replied as well and said they are actually advertising a whole load of jobs next week. So that’s good news. The down sides are: it’s a massive open competition and I think it will be pretty tough to get one of the jobs and it would be working back in the same place as A again. I was talking to G about it last night who said that if I the latter issue dissuade me then A still has some control over the decisions I make about my life and so I should just do what’s right by me, which I have to agree with. So we’ll see what I think when the job adverts come out...