I read yesterday that Sheriff
I do have solution to this problem though. I think that everyone should be breathalysed before they are allowed to board a tube train - people who are teetotal such as myself may carry the “card of smugness” which means that you can just flash the card and walk past the queues of people being breathalysed and go immediately to the platform without delay. Anybody found to have drunk alcohol will not be able to use public transport. This will have a number of effects:
- More cars on the road, including drunk drivers who aren’t allowed to use the tube. We will therefore need more traffic police officers to detect them. This increase in police officers will mean more people in employment and therefore reduce unemployment figures.
- More cars on the road will also mean that potentially more revenue will be raised through congestion charging.
- Some people may choose to walk instead, thus increasing the fitness of the nation.
- Those allowed to travel by tube will be greatly decreased in number thus making the tube less crowded and me more likely to get a seat. This would make me happy. This is what is important.
Perhaps Boris isn’t going to be so bad after all.