This exercise thing is soooooooooo tiring… I feel exhausted at the very thought of doing it, but I’m persevering. Last night I did some but began to run out of steam after while and my poor legs were starting to rebel. I know exercise is meant to be good for you but I think that one day I will be found drowning in a pool of my own gentle glow* the dying words that will pas my lips will be “I know… I know... what doesn’t kill us makes us stro….” Make my eulogy good please.
Bizarrely, having spoken to a friend last week about his families’ reaction to his girlfriend moving in with him, I got an e-mail from another friend yesterday who was telling me in a confessional sort of way that she is seeing a chap who is divorced. She wasn’t entirely sure how I would react – not because I am some particularly hard line person who tells my friends off (!) but because she comes from a similarly strict church background to me and just didn’t really know what I would say. I sent her an e-mail back and said that it was fine and she shouldn’t worry about what I think. She has had some very negative reactions from people and I think was just uncertain if she was going to face some more.
I look back on the church I went to as a teenager and realise how controlling it was. We were entirely banned from drinking alcohol (and people abided by this) and most of our socialising was at our youth leaders’ house. The very thought of having a party that involved slow dancing was unheard of! I don’t resent those times, I think it gave me a very strong sense of right and wrong (although I see a lot more grey now then I ever did then), which hopefully makes me fairly ethical and has saved me from many a mistake that I might otherwise have made. In my life I have few regrets and those that I have tend to be about things that have not worked out rather than wishing I hadn’t done something.
What my friends getting in touch has highlighted to me though is how if the church takes a really hard line on things, even those who are part of the church are fearful of the consequences. If church, is meant to include things like confession (I don’t mean in the catholic sense, my background is in the ‘free church’) - and forgiveness then how come people are so scared to be honest? It troubles me, and my friend and I had a bit of a discussion by e-mail about it and I’m sure we’ll return it again. I just can’t quite my head round why somewhere that is meant to be about acceptance (although not finding everything acceptable) seems to now be having an effect on a number of people that I know of and making them fearful of what sort of reaction they will receive to things that are going on in their life. I’m not knocking the church, I am just perplexed by things that go on and wonder if the church will be able to continue to meet people where they’re at. If those within it are fearful of being themselves or making ‘mistakes’, what must those outside think?
*Horses sweat, men perspire, but ladies gently glow - as they say.
2 comments:
Random, when you ponder you do ponder BIG, girl…
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Whilst I know the Church is good at providing strong moral values and a sense of belonging, I’m not so sure if it’s teaching is always so applicable to ‘real life’.
Humans by their very make up are going to have many ‘so called’ shortcomings, the church surely has a responsibility to listen, be non-judgmental and accept these, otherwise the individual will only become fearful, dislodged and isolated.
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But maybe I have just become too much of a free thinker/liberal for my own good, time will tell…
TF - This is why I try not to think too often!
I know what you're saying and I think often people within the church make pronoucements about issues because it's easy to do so when they don't know anyone that it directly affects. But then it makes it difficult when people do get divorced or some other 'affliction' - and then there seems to be no place for them.
I just think that the church needs to remember that it is dealing with people not just concepts sometimes.
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