Shame

I did 40 minutes of fairly decent exercise last night – 40 minutes! I was just glad that G phoned at that point to save me from collapsing in a heap on the floor. Still I feel as though it did some good and it showed me that I am reasonably fit already and just need to actually do some exercise in order to build on that.

I phoned my friend S last night and had a bit of a chat with him. I hadn’t spoken to him in ages, partly just through circumstance and partly because it was easier, for a variety of reasons. Anyway when I had dinner with a friend on Tuesday night he told me that S’s girlfriend had moved in, which is what had prompted me to give S a call. I realise to most people this is not a big thing, but we both come from the same somewhat strict church background and doing this is comparable to saying that you have killed someone. I asked S what his parents had said and apparently his mum cried and then in a later conversation said that she wouldn’t be mentioning this to anyone in the wider family because it was rather shameful.

I actually used to live with his parents and they are really lovely people, they just have quite strong views about certain things. However, they do also love their son a lot and that is what will have motivated their response but will also be what will encourage them to find a way to accept this turn of events. He has had some really difficult things to deal with over the last few years and I am just glad that he is able to move forward with his life and I just told him that I was really pleased for him.

I also spent a bit of time talking to him about some things that are going on in my life at the moment and he was really great about it all and I felt lots better after I had spoken to him. I guess it just showed me that if you pick the right people, you can be yourself and that’s ok. However, he did end the conversation by saying that we can be outcasts together, which is also good to know.