Order

My suit trousers are officially listed as missing. When my landlady’s family descended this weekend, the two suspects who may have purloined said items both said they had checked and didn’t have them – although one of them is blind (as in *actually* blind, that’s not some underhand insult) and so might not be the ideal person to have searching for something.

My landlady made various suggestions, such as that she might have hung them up in my wardrobe. Once again my mind screams “you are not my mother wandering around after me tidying up, why would you be hanging stuff in my wardrobe anyway?!” She did assure me that they couldn’t possibly be in her wardrobe as everything is hung there in colour order and so she could easily tell they weren’t there. She did then show me the contents of her wardrobe and it was indeed all carefully ordered by colour. Surely that isn’t normal??

Talking of things that aren’t normal, I was walking past one of the spare rooms the other day and had to do a bit of a double take as it looked like someone was actually in the bed and staring at me. I looked more closely and then switched the light on and this was what was looking at me:



It seems that this is my landlady’s latest idea of what will sell a house. She has removed personal items from all around the house, such as photos, because apparently they are bad, but a doll staring at you is fine.