Balance

I got home last night and switched on the TV and on channel five there was a programme called Payday. The basic idea of it is that people spend the programme trying to guess how much each other earns and if the person who gets through to the final round then manages to match the correct salary to each person you win the top-earners salary as the prize. But… but… surely that’s just not British! You’re not meant to sit around discussing salaries let alone going on national television and taking part in a game that means you broadcast it to millions of people (or a couple of old men and a whippet in the case of Five. Oh… and me last night…). The chap didn’t win because he failed to work out that the top earner (who earned £50000 a year) was a taxi driver. A taxi driver?? I’m going to think twice about giving a tip now though. Mind you taxi drivers probably spend most of that clearing up vomit from the back of their car.

I’m still on my search for a dishwasher and found a Bosch one that I like… but it seems that it has been discontinued. Pah! My search will continue - dishpan hands are going to be a thing of the past soon. Or G having dishpan hands to be more exact. I still haven’t chosen what colour to paint my hall either, which may be procrastination on my part to avoid actually having to get on and do some decorating. And I still have to find some new flooring for my bathroom. Life is so exciting.

I was talking to G yesterday because I have been wondering if the balance in our relationship is quite right. When G comes to stay we seem to spend most of the time doing things that I want to do – like tips to Ikea or the dump… By comparison I think G gets a bit of a raw deal and I’m not entirely sure that it is healthy to not at least consider if it is right and if we are equal. G said it’s fine and has been a welcome distraction from other things that have been going on and it’s nice to do things that are quite domestic. I can see that but I just want things to be fair between us and to ensure that we each get the chance to speak when necessary.

A few weeks ago G spoke to me about some stuff to do with A. I was a bit shocked by the conversation and G said a couple of things that just brought me up short and I was really upset by it. G didn’t say anything nasty and felt really bad about having upset me- it was just a bit of a kick in the guts to hear something that gave an indication of what A might think. However, it made me realise that whilst I might be concerned to do the right thing by A there is no way of knowing that would be reciprocated. I would assume that A is decidedly unimpressed with me and could have a very different reading of our relationship (and its aftermath) than me. It just made me realise that maybe I should actually be more concerned for myself than for A. Not that A is a nasty person, quite the opposite, but people’s views in the aftermath of a relationship can be somewhat scathing. Still, there’s nowt I can do about it - and I do actually trust G to be entirely reasonable. The situation with A still makes me sad though and I think it always will, but I guess that’s just one of those things.