Extraordinary Pets

I was watching a strange programme yesterday called ‘Extraordinary Pets’, but we’re not talking about dogs that have rescued their owners from a burning building or a cat that can tap out the entire works of Shakespeare in Morse code. No, for ‘extraordinary’ read ‘dangerous and likely to kill you’. One man had eight Cayman crocodiles and they just wandered around his home. He said that usually it was fine but sometimes you had to be careful. I think those wise words.

At one point the narrator said “Mike has been collecting exotic animals most of his life. He started with his ex-wife.” They didn’t say what sort of exotic creature she was, but I assume another crocodile. I would have thought marrying animals was generally discouraged but this was channel five so things can be more risqué there.

Mike then decided that the crocodiles were not spending enough time in a domestic setting so took one round to a friend’s house to celebrate Thanksgiving (it wasn’t a replacement for the turkey, in case you are concerned). So they just walked in with a four foot crocodile under their arms. In future the friend’s invite will probably include the line “No gifts”.

There was also a chap called Adam and he kept tigers in his house. At one point they showed him cuddling a full grown tiger and the tiger got a bit boisterous and Adam said “He tried to eat my hand, obviously if he meant it that would be bad”. Yes, I think that would be bad. I think it could also be quite bad even if he didn’t mean it. A little nip from a tiger could probably sever your head.

My sister is trying to discourage her husband from getting a dog. Little does she know how lightly she may be getting off.