Hardback Writer

I could become a published author! What do you mean I already write a blog? *thinks* But this would be in a book. You know, one of those things that are made of paper and you can get out of the library. Except I won’t be becoming a published author, as I said “no”.

I may be very slightly overselling quite what this would have entailed. It was never going to be the next Harry Potter or Barbara Cartland – neither of which I have ever read now I think about it so if I did go down that route at least I couldn’t be accused of plagiarism.

It was actually one of the speeches that I gave a while ago. Apparently the organiser of a conference I spoke at thought my speech was so great that he wants to publish it. In a book. I did actually write the speech and so I do feel very slightly smug about it, but it wasn’t written to be used in that way, so I don’t want him to publish it. He wasn’t very impressed by my refusal and tried to persuade me. Not that I was going to be paid for this or get anything other than a nice warm feeling about it. Anyway, as he was so persistent I said I’d go away and think about it. Then I just sent him an e-mail and said “no” in writing instead.

I am slightly suspicious that he might publish it anyway and just not attribute it to me, so I will have to scour every book that is published over the coming year to see if my speech appears in it, but I’m hoping that he accepts my answer.

I actually give a huge number of talks, usually a minimum of one a week - and they are of variable quality. When I went into work on Tuesday someone said to me “Are you still alright for the talk this morning?” I looked back at him blankly and then realised that last week I had foolishly agreed to give a talk, but had failed to write it. So I quickly wrote a PowerPoint presentation and then delivered the talk about an hour later. I made some of the audience laugh, so I’ll gauge that as making it a success of some sort. Fortunately I didn’t have that one written down so they can’t ask to publish it.

Anyway, I *could* have been a published author. I could...

*Mind wanders off imagining my book appearing at the top of the Sunday Times best sellers list*