CV

I know you’re going to be shocked by this news, but...during the weekend I actually ate my last remaining Easter egg from last year. It was really nice, despite having gone out of date in July last year. I still have the sweets that came with it (it was a Cadbury’s Heroes egg), but this is indeed progress and I now feel warmed up for receiving some new Easter eggs this year. I probably won’t get any now...

I was thinking that perhaps I should try and come up with list of reasons why I might be worth dating, a CV of sorts if you like. Then next time I am interviewed as a potential date I will have my answers already prepared – I’ve been out of the dating scene for a while, it still works like that right?

Anyway, here are some points to get started with:

1. I have a pulse.
   
2. Going out with me *may* be preferable to you potentially growing old alone.
   
3. I really like travelling and am very good at arranging holidays.
   
4. I am solvent.
   
5. If I’ve done something wrong I will apologise (and mean it).
   
6. I’m honest and if you ask me a question I’ll answer it. But “honest” does not equal “blunt”.
   
7. I don’t mind someone ‘having a past’ or being a bit insecure.
   
8. I have all my own teeth and limbs.
   
9. If I was in love with you, you’d know it. But if you needed a bit of reassurance I’d give it – in my slightly bumbling way.
   
10. Animals seem to like me, even ones that are normally very wary of people.
    
11. I am told that I come across as a very calm person.
    
12. You are unlikely to ever see me on Crimewatch.
    
13. I am willing to do all sorts of things in bed – sleep, read, watch TV, drink a cup of tea.
    
14. For me, attraction is about so much more than what someone looks like.
    
15. I have a good sense of humour and like to make people laugh.
    
16. I am pretty unshockable and even if you told me something terrible I’d still speak to you. (Although I might have to take some action over things involving animals or children...).
    
17. Even if you had a bunny rabbit, I would never boil it.
    
18. I wouldn’t say one thing to your face and then slate you behind your back.
    
19. I do not have any communicable diseases.
    
20. I’m good in a crisis. If you lost your passport while you were abroad, got stuck somewhere in the middle of the night, were involved in a serious accident etc then I’d drop everything to help you. I can provide references for each of these examples.
    
21. I am faithful and monogamous.
    
22. I wouldn’t want you to have to live with the regret of thinking “what if...” if you were foolish enough not to go out with me.
    
23. I can cook pretty well.
    
24. I wouldn’t embarrass you in front of your family.
    
25. I am housebroken.
    
26. I give very good hugs.
    
27. I would bring you a cup of tea in bed, without you having to ask.
    
28. I wouldn’t just want you for your body – although if you just consisted of a head and some legs I might be a bit freaked out by that.
    
29. But I’d try not to judge.
    
30. I’m single.
    

Come on, how could anyone resist?